See, everyone has their story to tell. I can't bear to listen to your broken heart, because I was busy mending my own. So if you shut up and listen, this is mine to tell.
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Once, upon a time there was a girl....
She was just a f***ed up girl looking for her own piece of mind, she’s not perfect. She had years of people telling her that.
He was everything that she never knew she wanted. They never planned to be where they were, but it happened. Fate dealt them a card they weren’t ready to play. Both of them plunged it whole-heartedly; it was beautiful how they started. To be in love, to be in that perpetual state of anesthesia.
The commonality that they have is that they both recognize reality of their situation that it could never be. But the fact they are both as self absorbed as one another, helps keeping them together. It wasn’t that they were right for each other, they were just not right for anyone else. Therefore, no one but them could comprehend what they feel.
He drags her kicking and screaming, through fast dreams and knows exactly what she means. She feeds him with rubber bands for him to stretch till she can see his frustrations on the boils, and yet she doesn’t know when to quit. Soon enough, her reflections through his eyes were not something she dared to look. She knows she had broke whatever it is she thought she had.
Their battles become repetitious, and soon enough she realized that she was apologizing for what was no longer her mistake, her past choices that she was never sorry for. It was a broken poetry, a chapter she once played.
She said, “I fell in love. Not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you would call it. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. I love you, very simple, very truly. I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care. I do not doubt that I am in love with you. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. I grew up never having any f**king example of male- female relationship and I got hurt in past so many times until one cut herself from finding anyone. So I’ve been around – and I don’t fucking regret it, some were good and some were bad – and then I come across you. How seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you- its so rare. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look – because I’ve been in different arms- and I choose you. And for me that makes all the difference. “ She said it all, although it was too late, although he wasn’t even listening to a single word she said. To him none of this makes sense. He felt small, insignificant and emasculated. He thinks he’ll never be on her level – never be enough for her or something. What he didn’t get was that she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for “THAT GUY”; he was all that she was looking for.
He kept digging, and soon created fictional stories and characters that seem so real.
He found the reason to justify everything; he found the perfect story that would be worse than anything anyone could ever do. He kept himself blinded to hide all that he fears, all that he has done. He disillusioned himself with things beyond belief. He jumped on conclusions and landed on her chest as he yelled out obscenities to her.
Once, upon a time there was a girl....
She was just a f***ed up girl looking for her own piece of mind, she’s not perfect. She had years of people telling her that.
He was everything that she never knew she wanted. They never planned to be where they were, but it happened. Fate dealt them a card they weren’t ready to play. Both of them plunged it whole-heartedly; it was beautiful how they started. To be in love, to be in that perpetual state of anesthesia.
The commonality that they have is that they both recognize reality of their situation that it could never be. But the fact they are both as self absorbed as one another, helps keeping them together. It wasn’t that they were right for each other, they were just not right for anyone else. Therefore, no one but them could comprehend what they feel.
He drags her kicking and screaming, through fast dreams and knows exactly what she means. She feeds him with rubber bands for him to stretch till she can see his frustrations on the boils, and yet she doesn’t know when to quit. Soon enough, her reflections through his eyes were not something she dared to look. She knows she had broke whatever it is she thought she had.
Their battles become repetitious, and soon enough she realized that she was apologizing for what was no longer her mistake, her past choices that she was never sorry for. It was a broken poetry, a chapter she once played.
She said, “I fell in love. Not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you would call it. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. I love you, very simple, very truly. I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care. I do not doubt that I am in love with you. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. I grew up never having any f**king example of male- female relationship and I got hurt in past so many times until one cut herself from finding anyone. So I’ve been around – and I don’t fucking regret it, some were good and some were bad – and then I come across you. How seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you- its so rare. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look – because I’ve been in different arms- and I choose you. And for me that makes all the difference. “ She said it all, although it was too late, although he wasn’t even listening to a single word she said. To him none of this makes sense. He felt small, insignificant and emasculated. He thinks he’ll never be on her level – never be enough for her or something. What he didn’t get was that she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for “THAT GUY”; he was all that she was looking for.
He kept digging, and soon created fictional stories and characters that seem so real.
He found the reason to justify everything; he found the perfect story that would be worse than anything anyone could ever do. He kept himself blinded to hide all that he fears, all that he has done. He disillusioned himself with things beyond belief. He jumped on conclusions and landed on her chest as he yelled out obscenities to her.
She gave all to him without question, and yet he still wanted to steal every bit of it. She has been misjudged and misinterpreted her whole life, so this shouldn’t really hurt. All that he wanted to say has been said before. All he ever wanted to do has been done before, maybe even worse. It shouldn’t have wounded her, but it did.
She had nothing left to lose. And all that he had to show was some foolish pride that gave way to regret.
And so ends her fairytale.
February 2007
xoxo
Rollo T.
February 2007
xoxo
Rollo T.
